Tension

Feeling tensed after talking to him...he said i want things my way...but seriously i have improved like 100% ever since i was with colin...gosh...i have totally changed...i can't believe myself too...oh well...miss him a lot...really a lot...it's undescribable...and i guess he's irritated with me...still...oh well...at least i noe how he felt...i guess i won't call him anymore...i mean when there's no response from him for like a few hours...will probably resort to msging...but frankly, i have changed...for the better...i don't demand for things etc...angel should noe what i mean...the shit i went through with colin was i dun noe what word to use...

Joyce was saying that he'll come in the end...but my guess was right...he didn't...oh well...i am not unhappy that he didn't come...i guess he's jus tired...i dun noe...but maybe i shld jus leave him alone...while i study for my exams...this is my own personal decision...as in only i noe...and those who read my blog lah...i shld jus get my own life sometimes...like have my own farking personal space to myself and not think about anyone and anything...maybe i shld jus live alone...really...maybe it's God's calling? I really dun noe...last week's homily, the priest was talking about vocations...becoming priests and nuns...oh well anyway i'm glad i have my family...though i am not particularly very close to them...although we do spend a lot of time together...but my personal problems are solved within me and my friends...i mean rship stuff...can't believe i lived through those shit...thank God for friends...told you NTU was jinxed...seriously...i jus pray to God that everything will be alright...but I am prepared for anything...I mean what's new...two 'break-ups' in two different semesters during exams...what else can one not handle? Getting numb to such things...sometimes i jus think relationships are really tough and complicated...not sure if it's worth having...

Leaving him alone actually means not thinking about him on my side...i should jus stop reading into things...i shld just stop thinking sometimes...feel like going for a jog on my own...take a breather...but a bit scared...and jus ate...later puke...hmmm blasting music now...oh wow all 80s weekend on class95 this weekend...anyway killed a bug on my bed jus now...disgusting...squashed it with a piece of tissue...

Can't get to sleep...too full i guess...watched amazing race and american idol...what a treat...gonna study hard tmr...make up for today...plus the weekend too...gonna mug...jus get it over and done with really...don't wan to disappoint myself and my parents...should jus stop slacking and get back to reality...

"People with goals succeed because they know where they are going"

So do you know where you are going? Sometimes one should really reflect and think what you want to achieve and what you want to get out of life...i think life is really short...treasure it...treasure those around you especially...cos life is really unpredictable...i really believe in that...

Don't know how to show someone you really miss him...it's so hard to show that person you really miss him...i mean it's like you keep saying...sometimes it jus becomes cliched...this is for you...

"I gotta have a reason to wake up in the morning
You used to be the one that put a smile on my face
There are no words that could describe how I miss you
and I miss you everyday yeah"

Radio's playing "This I promise you"...shall listen to music till i fall asleep...till then...all the best peeps for the exams...love all of you lots...